Turning Inspiration into Purpose
Have you ever had that a-ha moment where everything clicks, you are fired up ready to go, you add everything you need to get started to your shopping cart, you start the signup process for a course but freeze when it's time to put the visa number in? My answer was yes to the above until I figured out the key to unlocking the secret of follow-through.
For the longest time, I was known for calling up my bestie with my latest and greatest business idea but the passion would fizzle out before I knew it. I have so many abandoned online shopping carts out there, they could fill up a virtual parking lot. I had the hardest time making a decision and sticking with it. It always starts with a big energetic push to start a new course or buy a new program and then self-doubt will usually be the reason for abandoning it. I have been in a committed relationship for 15 years, friendships for 28 years, I have completed my 4-year undergrad, a post-grad certificate and a 200-hour yoga teacher training program, so I know I am more than capable of starting something and finishing it. BUT, to counter my successes, I have an even bigger track record of change. I have never stayed at a job longer than two years, I have moved over 15 times in the past 15 years, I have tried every diet, I have jumped on every single workout bandwagon you can think of (BBG, P90X, Emily Skye, Beach Body, Inferno, Hot Yoga, etc.). You name it, I have done it. So what gives? Why am I able to complete some things and other things my mind and insecurities get the best of me before I can see it though? It took a lot of reflection and internal work to uncover the secret to my success, and the answer lies within the why.
The universe was begging me to stop, to breathe, to reflect. In this moment of solace, I unravelled, revealed, and figured out how to put myself back together.
Up until I became a mama I didn't think this was an issue. I was happy, healthy and enjoyed my fast-paced lifestyle. I was addicted to new beginnings, the rush, the excitement of the unknown, the ability to leave and move onto the next thing if I wanted to.
When I was nine months postpartum, I was packing up the house I thought I was going to raise my son in. The house I spent six months straight working ten-hour days renovating. The house my mother-in-law spent her childhood in. I was once again moving, starting fresh, a new life with new adventures at my doorstep. I was sad to say goodbye but I was itching for a change, once again. I moved into my new home and jumped right into a full renovation, ripping my kitchen out on Halloween and spending the Christmas holidays washing my dishes in my bathtub. Change was all around, stresses were very high and expectations were not met with reality. In a synchronous act from the universe, the pipes in my house burst, flooding all of the bathrooms in the exact same moment a flood of tears ran down my face. My house and I had reached a breaking point. The change was too overwhelming, this time. The universe was begging me to breathe, to stop, to reflect. With no place to call home, I was forced to move into a tiny 1 bedroom condo with my husband, son, and 85-lb german shepherd, while our house was under construction. In that very same week I was forced to stop, everyone was, the world shut down. Flights were cancelled, borders were closed, the WHO had officially announced the Covid-19 pandemic. I really had to stop everything. I couldn't work on my renovation, I couldn't go to the YMCA, I couldn't meet mom friends, I couldn't find my next fix. I had to stop. I had to just be in the moment, I had nothing to jump to next. It was time to reflect, to think, to dig deeper. In this moment of solace, I unravelled, revealed, and figured out how to put myself back together. But this time, I wanted things to be different. I wanted my time to matter. I no longer wanted to run from activity to activity, house to house, job to job. Life is too vulnerable, and the pandemic was a flashing neon sign from the universe to remind me of that every day. In this time of forced reflection, I finally started asking myself why. Why am I doing the things I do? Why am I always finding something to chase? Why am I rushing life? Why am I here? Why am I choosing this? Why? The why became more important than the thing itself. The why was the key to unlocking my authentic self, my follow-through, my empty carts. The why evolved to become my motivation, my values, my vision. So next time you want to jump into something, ask yourself why. "Why do I want to do this?" Dig deeper. . "Why do you want to do that?" Deeper. . "Why does that matter to me?" If you don't have a clear answer, empty your cart and dig a little deeper. Uncover the reason, and uncover the reason for that reason. Keep going until you get clarity and from there you can turn your why into your inspiration, into your purpose. Namaste